Loser is my stigma.
Why am I unlucky in life? Solid black stripe. In a relationship of "bad luck" - not having time to start, they end. And work is not easy. Employed in a promising high-paying position. I tried, climbed out of my skin, spinning like a squirrel in a wheel to get promoted, but all in vain. Tired of waiting, he waved his hand and quit. A few months after the dismissal, I found out that they wanted to promote me, and I quit unexpectedly for the management. As a result, the position that he aspired to went to a newcomer. It turns out that I myself destroyed my work with my own hands?
The new work promised a lot of hope. However, it didn’t work out again: before an important meeting, the car would pour water from a puddle, then I would oversleep, then I would be late. Everything went against me: I got out early so as not to get stuck in a traffic jam, took the subway and was still late, because, as if on purpose, for technical reasons, the interval of trains was increased, and the train stopped at the stations for a long time. The head, after repeated comments, offered to write a statement on his own.
Questions: why am I unlucky in everything and what to do - hung over me like a sword of Damocles. To escape from the web of misfortunes, he took up self-improvement.
The list of successful trainings completed is impressive. After the next “pumping”, wings seemed to grow: he began to build life in a new way - as he had been taught. But every time everything ended in failure, failure, no matter how hard I tried.
According to numerous tips and recommendations, I went to psychologists, fortune-tellers, a healer and even a magician. Only none of them worked. As he was a loser, so he remained. Troubles and troubles continued to fall on me, as if from a cornucopia.
Maybe I was born this way?
Why am I unlucky: reasons
On the Internet you can find a lot of explanations why a person is lucky as a drowned man:
- Low self-esteem, feelings of inferiority;
- Lack of self-esteem;
- Failure to take responsibility;
- Lack of motivation, disinterest;
- Fears, false beliefs that prevent you from thinking positively;
- etc.
All this has a place to be, but these are just consequences. To solve a problem, you need to find its cause.
Do not be discouraged if you were beaten and insulted in your childhood. This does not mean that you are doomed to be an eternal outsider.
The solution to any problem begins with its awareness. Having understood what is the cause of bad luck - a skin script for failure and unconscious masochistic desires or bad experiences, you can do away with the black stripe.
Knowing the peculiarities of your psyche, you can get rid of an unsuccessful life program. When you know your secret desires, and not those imposed by the environment, you understand the mechanism of interaction with other people - it becomes possible to control your destiny.
At the training "Systemic Vector Psychology" the true motives and intentions that move people are revealed, negative life scenarios are worked out. Already at the introductory free classes, the scenario for failure is analyzed in detail. Awareness of all the subtleties associated with it, allows you to leave your fatal bad luck in the past. There will also remain a painful question: why am I unlucky?
Do you want to escape from the captivity of troubles and stop being a victim of circumstances?! Come to the next free online training session "System Vector Psychology". Let the succession of luck begin with them.
A lot of people are unlucky with work for various reasons. Let's drop them. We are talking about such people who, wherever they get settled, they are always unlucky. Either the job is such and the boss is a bad person, or the person specially gets a job to be fired.
Wherever you manage to get settled, after a while something goes wrong. A solid streak of bad luck. And the reason why he is unlucky with work, he explains in different ways: “It didn’t fit. The boss is a rare moron, and the team is rotten, they don’t let them work”, “They pay little, but conditions are better at another job,” etc.
And everything would be fine, fired, went to the job forum and found another job, only it looks like a story that is played every time, and every time with the same ending.
Got a job - worked - fired.
This begs the question - why are you unlucky with work? And how to find the right one, so that everything suits you, so that you can climb the career ladder and earn big money? So that it was not necessary to do what the soul does not lie in. And to finally get lucky!
And so it goes year after year, while he marks time. Other people achieve new heights and go up the career ladder by leaps and bounds, but he is constantly unlucky with work.
How to make sure that luck with work accompanies and that the question is solved - why is it not lucky with work? To make life richer and richer.
Why are you unlucky at work?
According to the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, each person is naturally endowed with certain desires and all the properties for their realization.
With the correct development of properties in childhood, a person learns to enjoy the achievement of his goals. He understands what he wants and knows how to get it. Therefore, the question - why is he unlucky with work and money - does not stand before him.
Who, then, complains that he is unlucky with work and money?
Unlucky with work and money. One of the reasons
Everything starts from childhood. The fact is that by nature a child with a skin vector is given ambitions that he must develop and realize. These ambitions manifest themselves in the desire to be the first.
Whoever is first is a hero, and whoever is last is a loser! So these children compete in games, as in the future they will compete in a career or in sports. And usually the losing child with the skin vector suffers, because he wants to be the first.
But by continuing to constantly train, the child achieves what he wants, gets his result. He still wins and gets great pleasure from his victory, from winning in the competitive struggle.
But if such a child was treated badly in childhood: beaten and / or insulted. If he did not feel a sense of security and safety from his parents, the child's psyche could not stand it.
The psyche of such children is naturally flexible, as is their body. And the flexible psyche of the child, trying to protect itself from these sufferings, is being rebuilt to get rid of them. That is, his brain produces natural opiates (endrophins) that relieve pain. And the child begins to enjoy physical or verbal abuse.
And this child, having matured, will ask the question “why are you unlucky with work and money?” But the fact is that he did not learn to enjoy the results achieved, but, on the contrary, only from failures.
All his ambitions come down not to achieving a result from the work done (efforts), but from its failure. That is, in the first case, a person tries to achieve a result, despite his failures and without stopping in motion, and in the second, a person does not need a result, he needs enough failure. So no luck with work!
In order to fully understand and find out how you can change the current situation from “unlucky with work” to “finally I found a suitable job”, you need to understand yourself, find out your innate desires and abilities, and learn how to apply them. This allows you to change the unfavorable life scenario laid down in childhood. You can learn how to do this at a free online training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
Reading time: 2 min
When a person is unlucky in life, he begins to look not only for the internal causes of this set of circumstances and external prerequisites, but also for ways out. Further, depending on the severity and frequency of repetition of situations, he turns either to logical analysis, or even to the use of magical rituals. Everyone puts their own meaning into the concept of bad luck. One may be annoyed by minor delays due to traffic jams, the other has been unlucky in his personal life for the tenth year already.
Explanations for bad luck can come down to different theories, with quite a few people inclined to believe that everything is limited to chance. On both a psychological and physical level, people themselves provoke coincidences, overlook details, or dismiss warning signs. Next, we will deal with why you are unlucky in life and how to deal with it, we will consider not only the main psychological reasons and the very impact of a person on the level of luck, but also practical ways to counter an unfavorable set of circumstances.
Causes of bad luck in life
There are reasons why you fail in everything in life and they should be separated from those moments when regular failures occur in only one area of \u200b\u200blife. The root cause identified by many psychologists is a person's own negative thinking. This category operates in such a way that the direction of our thoughts directs our energy. The bottom line seems to be that the more focused on failure or negative moments, the less a person is able to notice opportunities or turnarounds.
The habit of contacting people at the level of confrontation instead of finding compromise solutions or a common dialogue increases the number of troubles. The person himself may consciously not do this or not notice the consequences, but broken social ties and interaction options lead to the fact that people stop contributing to your promotion in an active form or ignoring needs. Living in the social world, it is important to be able to build constructive connections, then a friend will help with the move, a colleague will cover at work, and a business partner passing by will stop to give a ride to work - all this eventually adds up to a successful combination of circumstances, although there are only consequences of previously committed deeds.
Smooth interaction with the social environment concerns not only human communication, but also the construction of all activities. When a person continues to stubbornly achieve his goals in the chosen way, does not respond to refusals and believes that he can overcome circumstances by force, he thereby provokes the development of additional failures. Here it would be optimal to choose other strategies, see the tailwind and not knock on closed doors in order to save your energy and avoid traumatic experiences.
In fact, many say that they are unlucky with a job when they themselves have chosen a direction that is contrary to their soul and continue to put in more effort than the position requires. Here one cannot say that the place or activity is to blame, or the universe is against it, but simply a person chooses a direction where success cannot be achieved in advance.
Based on the theory of the development of the universe and the need to realize the inherent qualities of every living being, misfortunes begin to happen to a person when he stops in honing his skills or when he refuses to follow his destiny. Someone justifies this in terms of energy or spiritual practices, others with religious prescriptions, but even from a scientific psychological point of view, this is justified. When a person is constantly developing, he learns to interact more effectively with the world, which means he is more successful, and when he develops his internal qualities, inherent in nature, he moves in the optimal direction and easily. In any case, a bird trying to take off will be more fortunate in this matter than a frog.
The problems in the sphere provoke an incorrect distribution of responsibility and the locus of requirements. So, when a person has not built his own identity, is afraid of punishment, believes that he is not worthy of praise, then he cannot accept not only good words, but also criticism. Such a warehouse of personality contributes to shifting both one's own successes and failures to others, and so instead of analyzing one's misdeeds and shortcomings, a person habitually blames the universe or talks about his bad luck. The variety of simultaneous goals also adds to the bad luck - the more tasks, the more attention is required. Not everyone can effectively live in conditions of multitasking, for most people this is a huge stress, leading to the fact that none of the directions will be implemented. This is not bad luck, this is a lack of literacy and gradation of goals.
How to deal with it
Periodic troubles happen to everyone, the problem becomes serious when one-time cases become natural, and then generally turn into a lifestyle. At the moment when a person independently hangs the label of a loser around his neck, it is already very difficult to fight the emerging trend, and the sufferer himself does not want to make efforts, because he is already used to living as before. It is best to think about changing the strategy of your behavior already at the initial stages, when one-time failures begin to take shape in a streak of bad luck.
Since the main reason for the transformation of events into negative ones is a person’s worldview, his assessment of not only current events, but also the world, then it is necessary to start from a change in one’s point of view. A positive attitude cannot be taken from scratch and applied to all life in seconds - this is a kind of spiritual or psychological practice, a skill that has been developed over the years. A person who strives for good, trying to find positive aspects in any negative situation, will attract good luck. The longer you practice such a life creed, the more luck will be observed in life.
You can train a positive attitude together with a psychologist, the Gestalt approach is usually used or, but you can also independently seek your own benefit in trouble. For example, if a date is broken, then instead of an evening of self-flagellation, you can see this as an opportunity to meet friends or additional freelance, and perhaps devote time to yourself. Even the realization that you got rid of the wrong person so quickly can turn a personal disaster into success. Broken things, torn tights, scratched cars should be considered as an occasion for repair, improvement or a radical update. Instead of crushing, you need to look for the advantages of your development or rebranding.
It is important to start structuring your life, because failures can be a simple consequence of the mess and your not understanding what to do in the first place. If you always have an action plan at hand, the tasks of which fit together and allow you to gradually achieve positive results, then your personal effectiveness will increase. Set aside time to rest so that concentration and fresh ideas are not reduced due to banal fatigue. It is necessary to provide yourself with maximum physical comfort so as not to be distracted and not nervous about everyday problems.
Rituals that bring happiness can be a good option, and it doesn’t matter if you use morning prayer, Simoron techniques or your own ideas from the sequence of actions - the main thing is to start doing this program. Its goal is not a magical effect on reality, but reprogramming the brain to perceive the world as friendly, caring and, as a result, bringing good luck.
How to become a successful and lucky person
The world is usually divided into lucky and eternal losers, although people have the same inclinations and starting opportunities. The difference in the further development of the situation is not in the initial data, but in how he knows how to use the current situation, to what extent he realizes the chances provided, or simply acts according to the plan without deviations to the side.
In order to switch luck to your side, you need to start listening to your own intuition or the voice of the heart. Thanks to these categories, people can use chances that are not visible to consciousness, and actions based on someone else's opinion or purely logical reasoning lead to a negative outcome. The secret of the connection between intuition and luck is simple: both of these concepts operate mainly from the subconscious, therefore, where intuition suggests a solution, it relies on facts unnoticed by a person, but this is the magic of accompanying luck.
The rejection of the usual and stereotypical pastime and organization of activities helps to diversify the range of internal solutions. Fortune smiles on those who go beyond. If you constantly walk the same route and complain about loneliness, then by changing the trajectory of returning home, you risk meeting a new romance. When you are accustomed to simply and silently carry out the instructions of the head, then the expressed reasoned dissatisfaction can lead to a new position. The less stereotypes a person is exposed to, the less controlled he becomes, which means he sees more successful moments.
But you should not completely exclude logic, it will be necessary when failure does happen - living people make mistakes, but their analysis and development of a new behavior strategy will help not to repeat the same one several times. It is foolish to assume that being late for work today and leaving tomorrow at the same time will arrive on time - this principle needs to be transferred to all situations that do not go the way you want.
Surround yourself with lucky people, optimists and always laughing people - we unwittingly adopt the manner of interacting with the world and society from those around us. If there are none in the available environment, then the effect of passive learning for success can be obtained from reading books with such a plot or watching films where the hero is lucky.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
What to do if you are unlucky in life, love, work? How to get rid of the role of "loser" and finally achieve success?
As one of the wise said, success is as intolerant of bad luck as bad luck is of someone else's success. Why the most unfortunate people in the world are those who literally have everything falling out of their hands. After all, while they are trying to understand what is the matter and licking their own wounds, the happier lucky ones jump over them in no time and get their prize. But you don’t need to hate them for it - it’s better to learn something.
After all, human psychology is such that we are accustomed to confidently believe that the success of others is pure luck, but our own certainly got exceptionally hard work. In the same way as pathological bad luck and black streaks in the lives of other people seem to be a well-deserved punishment and a natural consequence, but your own mistakes can only be due to damage or deceit of enemies.
And let's look at the problem of "why am I always unlucky in love, at work and in life" from the other side.
Chronophages and their accomplices
There are 24 hours in a day. We allocate only 8-9 for sleep, and let another 5 for our natural needs, like food, for example. There are about 10 hours of personal free time left. What do we do with it? Are we using this resource rationally? Do you know about time management?
Just remember one thing - if the concept of "killing time" is still in your vocabulary, you will never succeed.
Because time is a very valuable resource, sometimes much more valuable than even money. After all, money can be earned in an unlimited amount: hit the jackpot, for example, marry a millionaire or, at worst, rob a bank. But the allotted time to get more will not work. That is why American business psychologists are very fond of describing this resource as follows: imagine that every morning in the bank 86,400 dollars are deposited in your account (exactly so many seconds in a day). And until the next morning, the balance on this account is canceled, no matter how much. And there is no guarantee that this amount will be in the same place tomorrow morning. How much money would you use from this account in a useful way today?
That is why the "chronophage" for a successful businessman is one of the most insidious phenomena. What it is? It is the people, things and habits that steal time. This is a chatty friend who definitely needs to drop into the office and retell yesterday's reality show for an hour, this is a girlfriend who is always late for an appointment, this is a personal transport that loves to break down at the most inconvenient time. And finally, the chronic habit of postponing everything until later, which is slowly stealing "today" from us. And tomorrow a person will be surprised: “Why am I not lucky either in love, or with men, or at work?” ...
Do you want to be successful? Don't waste a minute! Learn English in the car, read good educational books on the subway, chat with a chatty friend only on the way somewhere, organize personal time and try to live every day as if it were your last.
Life scenario "No to happiness!"
Sometimes we ourselves set ourselves the goal of living a half-life, in the style of a "loser", as Americans like to say. Of course, unconsciously. This happens when such words are heard in the family from the very birth of the child: “Well, the Petrovs bought an apartment for their daughter, and a car for their son. And we will always be poor, and our children will be poor, and grandchildren! Because life is like this”, “I look today, Ivanova went to work - so happy, in a new fur coat. And we will always get sick, and work for medicines, because the standard of living in the country is like that! And the growing child himself constantly hears how he is clumsy, stupid and "all like a drunk daddy."
It is not surprising that in adult life such a person will be content with a mediocre position, low earnings and unpleasant friends. And from all the luring networkers on the principle: "We will make you a millionaire!" he will shy away like a rattlesnake.
How to change it? Convince yourself. Surround with loving and supportive people, and drive all critics and whiners down the drain.
"Man is not looking for luck, luck is looking for a man." Turkish proverb
And finally: read these bad tips, smile and never do that again.
Step 1. Set a goal to please everyone
That's really a failure of this undertaking, most likely, there is none at all. Although because it is impossible! There will always be those who are dissatisfied, but the attempt to please everyone has never been respected. Where better to follow the example of modern marketers - choose your target audience (target audience). And already do everything in order to win her favor - whether with creativity, a product sold or leadership.
Step 2 Work day and night
Oddly enough, workaholics do not achieve much success. But natural lazy people (in the reasonable sense of the word) are just more likely to be lucky. Agree, it's not so important how many hours were spent on a new project - the result is important. How important is not participation, but victory.
And chronic fatigue, lack of sleep and exhaustion will not bring happiness or satisfaction from good luck.
Step 3 Say "Yes" to everyone!
Truly successful people always know who, what and when to say “No!”. They say "No!" to all those who:
- trying to simply use them;
- frankly infuriates them and tries to feed on their energy;
- inspires doubt and own pessimism.
And also all those who succeed through their own work say “No!” every morning. their weakness, laziness, fear and insecurity.
"Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." Winston Churchill
Step 4 Cherish yourself, pity yourself and whine more
Unfortunately, fortune cannot beg for happiness with pity. She does not like whiners, just as others do not like them. No, she prefers selflessness, courage and determination. She loves hard workers and dreamers. But if you cherish yourself and be afraid of everything, then you can stay in the chrysalis phase forever.
Step 5 Become a miser - no charity!
Now we will surprise you very much - every single millionaire in the world is incredibly generous. They constantly donate huge sums for the poor and to various funds, finance the culture of their native country and are always responsive when they are asked for something. And - incredible! - they only get richer. Because all of them, who do not ask, believe that any of their donations will return to them a hundredfold. And for them it doesn’t matter who does it - the Universe, God or some kind of Higher power - the main thing is that this law of good always works. Try it!
And, no matter how hard it is for you, no matter how often the question arises: “Why are you unlucky in love, at work and in life?” - fight. Maybe this is your path?
"Always choose the most difficult path - on it you will not meet competitors" Charles de Gaulle.
Many people ask this question.
For example, a neighbor's appearance is not better, and there is no more money, but how successfully she got married - her husband is both loving, and not a fool, and is provided. For what? And why doesn't it work for me?
Or else: a colleague is clearly more stupid than me, how many mistakes have he already made? But they took him for a promotion. Why? Probably connections. Who helped him? And why are fools so lucky?
Navigation on the article "Why am I not lucky?":
Unlucky in life: how does this relate to the picture of the world?
Why does it make sense to notice feelings and, above all, negative ones? Because it is negative feelings that are the mechanism that triggers bad luck.
A simple example. Night, outskirts of the city. On the way from the metro there are 10 people, all one at a time, with more or less equal intervals - they disperse to their homes. There are robbers in the bushes. And they attack one out of 10 people.
Why on this one? " Why am I unlucky"? the victim asks. Because, whether we like it or not, we perceive the world not only at the level of logic and analysis, but also at the level of intuition, feeling, reading unconscious information through non-verbal signals.
The robber cannot thoroughly examine in the dark how someone is dressed, whether there are any valuables on a person, whether he is strong enough to fight back, etc. But he can feel the state of a person.
Posture, gait, mood, which is expressed through a mass of "imperceptible" (first of all, not noticeable to consciousness!) Signals - all this tells a lot about a person. About his ability to resist, about the number of his fears, about his degree of self-confidence, etc.
And as a result, the robber, most often without realizing this to himself consciously, can, nevertheless, feel good - who is “ready” to become a victim.
If you are ready to become a victim, this does not mean "yourself to blame" (as statements of this kind are often interpreted). You simply bear your part of the responsibility for what happened. You participate in the situation, including the information that you report about yourself at all levels, including non-verbal.
Needless to say, the more insecurity you have, the feeling of being a victim, fears, helplessness, feelings that you are a toy in the hands of fate or an accident unknown to you, the higher the likelihood of becoming a victim in reality?
If you have any questions about the article “You can ask them to our psychologist on duty: pochemu-mne-ne-vezet /
